“I’ve spent so long thinking, so damn long planning and preparing for every possible outcome or eventuality to anything that happens in my life. It’s pushed people away and its made me a very serious person”. That is what you would’ve heard me say to describe myself if I had been asked for an honest description of how I was not so long ago. It’s not a very flattering version is it? It’s not going to make you overly popular or have the party people in their droves gravitating towards you, and its not a very nice feeling thinking thats how you were perceived. But that was then, and this is now. Now its a different story, the zen master pops his head around the corner, looks at me and asks me for tips! If anything, if this is possible my zen state may have gone too far? Now its all too easy, an easy life surrounded by easy going people that are a joy to be around and guess what…so am!
If you investing yourself only good things will happen. The key is in order to do it you have to be honest with yourself otherwise you will never truly get to the heart of rediscovering where you had slipped off the track and therefore you will go the long way to putting yourself back. Kind of makes sense doesn’t it? Tackle it head on, and if like me you feel there is/was something unaligned and you want to do something about it then I’m telling you its not actually a scary path. It may seem or feel bit daunting but its you talking about you, how hard can that be? To do it, to put yourself where you want to be the first you have got to do, the first part of the process is to break it all down. Oddly you won’t even know its happening. You’ll talk and look and explore then at any given point it will start to undo. It’s like dismantling a real brick built wall. You can shout at it and nothing will happen, you can punch and kick it and nothing will happen you will probably just hurt yourself, you can clatter a sledgehammer at it, that will get things moving, half bricks and fragments flying everywhere with no real clue where you are hitting the wall. But, if you look at the wall, analyse it you will see where you need to begin and again just like a real brick wall you find that magic brick, the brick holding the whole wall together and its like a key to unlocking the rest of the wall. It just comes tumbling down, you can physically feel it. I remember the feeling when we worked out the source of my issue. As soon as I started talking about my Grandad. The best way to describe it it is imagine you are standing in a well, a cylinder of bricks around you, higher that you can reach. Then when you find that magic brick it unravels. Like dominos one after the other. It begins to let light in as the wall lowers, then reaches head height and you begin to see again. It continues to drop allowing you the freedom of movement again, by that I mean you can feel you mind breathing again, like it is clearing its lungs or having a big double arm stretch after an extra long Sunday lay in. Then before you know it its gone and you can just step out of the wall and now you have the ability to step up all of the loose bricks and head back up to the surface.
The only real thing now, speaking from my own experience of course is you (I) felt like a raw nerve, like a totally exposed nerve moving about in the breeze. More like a new born baby, I remember coming home and not really knowing where I was or what to do with myself but not long after I was gone, totally spark with emotional exhaustion. Waking up the next day though was incredible, it was like that night was the closing of a door behind me. now obviously you have to tackle the who, wheres and whys of what caused the magic brick but the hard work is done. You are already on a new path, it’s now the work undertaken to remain on it and to move forwards. Trust me on this, if I can do it then anyone can do it and once you are on that new path you won’t even think back to the old one. Imagine a world, your world with a mental an emotional freedom. An existence where you can move freely amongst your thoughts and decisions, processing and reacting to anything and everything in a constructed and methodical manner. Probably the best way to describe it would be when you have got a naughty dog or a new puppy and you’re over the park. You’re walking along nicely and its only the lead holding him there. Then you think because he is being so good you will unclip the lead and in a micro second he bolts as far as he can as quickly as he can. That is how it feels breaking down and removing these emotional demons. You’r free, off the leash to roam and explore at your leisure.
I think after you do this, after you go through this process and naturally what you discover will be unique to you but it will all be relevant and make sense and I’m pretty sure it will be a surprise and even more so on how it manifested. I guess thinking about it the magic bricks apply a lot of things in life. Any problem you have to deal with or face, the success of getting through it will always be your approach to it. That magic brick could be how and the manner in which you need to deal with someone. My dad always used to say learn how to pick your fights, know when to go into battle and know when to just let something go. he was always about seeing the bigger picture, not necessarily winning every battle but viewing the whole thing. Play for winning the war. That probably sounds a bit dramatic but in it’s simpler form it’s knowing when and how to tackle something.
I work hard, I train hard and I eat well, well at weekends I relax and enjoy my food more. I enjoy life, I enjoy my work, I enjoy the company of some amazing people from lifelong friends to people I share and experience many things with. All of this has been made possible by looking at myself in the mirror and knowing there was something that needed addressing, not even knowing what it was or it’s cause. Just in taking that initial step to self help, to a positive lifestyle. With all things in life it was looking beyond the initial fear and unknown and viewing that bigger picture (thanks dad). Seeing that if I spent some time searching, working and developing myself then the big picture was very much a potential reality. So I reached that point, that crossroad decision to go looking for my magic brick. I didn’t really know that was how it would work with my mind but I knew it was time to do it.
If there is something out there in your life, out in your world that is not right then proactively go after it, go and find its magic brick and I promise you once you do find it and you remove it there will be an instruction or lesson left behind by it. Like a fortune cookie but this fortune won’t be ridiculous, it will be inspiring.