If you don’t play, you can’t win.


When you think back to all of those things you’ve done, that multitude of experiences and lessons. All of those adventures no matter how big or small, they have all played a part in moulding us into the present day version of ourselves. So many things happen to us throughout our lives, regardless of how old we are and where we are from life will continue to serve each an every one of us different hands each day. It’s how we play these hands that determines how we are moulded and how we progress with our lives. But above all it is our mindset. How we look at and approach left. Of course sometimes this needs to  be serious because yes, serious things happen to us all. Some of those are from exterior sources, some are just life throwing a bit of sand at us for what seems like no reason.

Regardless of that, and yes this is easier said than done when you are in the thick of it but in short all of lifespan’s problems, every single one of them is something you can work through and reach a level of resolution. A level of being at peace. Now all this can take its toll on anyone. Dealing with things head on makes it easier as there’s absolutely no reason to  run and hide from anything. I know it can feel like in doing that you’re going to solve everything. I remember adopting this approach and running away from something I should have faced and low and behold it managed to out run me and eventually overtake me and then all of the decision making and choices were removed from me and I had to deal with the hand that was played for me because it had passed my attempts to escape and it ended up standing as an immovable object directly in my path. Leaving me no option but to tackle it. That is the advantage of tackling things head on. Aside from the benefit of dealing with it quicker so you don’t dwell on it or let it consume you, forcing those sleepless nights and twisting you behavioural patterns. In tackling things head on it gives you more options, it lets you take hold of the situation and find the best resolution. To find the best way to break it down and put it all back together in a way that you can move forwards because, as ever hat is what we need to  do with whatever is on our plates. To seek positive progression, to take all the negative influences and factors, extract the lessons from them and re-establish them as positive additions to your mindset.

A mindset that should be adopted as a way of life, to reprogram yourself to address and tackle whatever is inferno of you, and whatever the subject matter might be. The easy bits will of course be easy but it is in dealing with the hard stuff that makes you. It is squaring up to your reality and saying to yourself ‘I’m not moving until this is resolved’. Not stepping back from a situation until you have cleared a pathway forwards. That is where progression is made, even if you falter or fall you are still moving forwards. Chipping away each day. As , and this happens without us even knowing , when we ignore the things on our plates it actually holds us stationary. It puts us in invisible shackles slowing us down until eventually we hit a total stop.

We can’t see it or even feel it because we aren’t truly addressing anything. All of the signs are there, all of the people around us can see it, they’ll know it but it’s until we, in ourselves and in our one minds turn that light on that we then see the shackles.

Our confidence plays a very large role in this approach, a lot of us struggle with our self confidence. We put up barriers and facades, create alter egos or even put on masks to shield ourselves from our insecurities. I have suffered immensely in this area for a lot of my life. Living in the shadows of two local legends was great in some ways but very isolating in others. now don’t get me wrong it has been an honour playing third fiddle those two but it did take me a long time to find my own confidence feet. i think life played a strong role in forcing me out of my confidence shadows, it dealt me some real bum hands. Hands no different to what anyone else my have to deal with but it landed them them on the table like 1,2,3. Losing hand, losing hand, losing hand. The next hand left me with a decision , do I fold? Do I say that is enough for me I will take what I have left and move along, or do I look at these cards infant of me knowing full well I’m going all in regardless of what I have to play? And that is what I did, I slid every last chip I had into the middle of the table and went all in because for me it was time. It was time to grab the steering wheel of my life with both hands and put it on the road that I wanted to be on.

Shadows don’t serve me well, they don’t serve anyone well. I understand why we lurk in them, trying to protect ourselves and hide our insecurities but it is not where we should be. We need to be out in the open, out in all weathers standing proud with those insecurities because in doing that, bit by bitty start to shrink. Our confidence grows, everything we do in life builds through consistency. that is positive and negative. So we might as well be out there scared but working on becoming positive. Taking each day as a fresh opportunity to take another little shuffle forwards. Even if it feels like you’ve gone backwards you haven’t because you was out there trying.

You don’t have to  reach that crossroads that I found myself at, you can make that decision at any time and the second you do is the very same second your life will start improve and you can set the bar wherever you want. For me and my journey I decided to remove the bar altogether and to see what happens and to date it has been the best decision I have made. It allows you to move freely within your life. So many people I see tell me how different I am or how happy I seaman it is true. Yes it is me, it always has been but now its me ‘elevated’ and that what I want everyone to realise and ultimately achieve. themselves elevated, no shackles, chains or insecurities. just out there enjoying life and enjoying being themselves. We have to enjoy ourselves and who we are, that is the very core of our energy. the energy we project and therefore attract.

It’s your life, play it how you will but don’t let insecurities, fear or confidence govern how you play. Don’t look for or expect instant fixes or miracles as they simply do not exist and this is you we are talking about, why would you want to cut corners on building the best version of yourself that you can? Apply this mindset to daily life, incorporate your hobbies, you’re passions. Construct the best possible life for yourself as you can dream up and work each day towards it.

Looking back, as I don’t tend to do as it generally doesn’t achieve anything but when I do and I see the difference from the man then to the man now it is amazing. I am now what I always wanted to be and that in turn made me realise that we can all live like this. Nobody has to settle for a shadowed version of themselves, nobody need think that what they want to be like as a person isn’t achievable but with all things, it starts with you. it starts with that conscious decision to work forwards to what you want and that it is never too late to make that decision. It is a choice, a choice to  want more for yourself  because you want it for yourself, not for anyone else.

Don’t sit back waiting, wishing and wanting. Take charge, pull up a chair at the table, put your chips down because when all is said and done;

If you don’t play, you can’t win.

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