We all begin new chapters in our lives from time to time. It is just part of life, people come and people go for a whole multitude of reasons. After all, if you think about the endless possibilities of how and why people can come into your life then there is at least an equal amount of reasons that could also change and they can leave it. It’s important to understand , and I think this only comes with a little time and experience, which is translated to heartache generally speaking. But however we arrive at understanding that people will come and go it brings us to the healthy conclusion that there is only really one person in our lives responsible for looking after us, ourselves.
The truth is humans are fueled by emotion and we can find it incredibly hard not to be guided by the runaway feelings that are created when we have connected to someone else. Emotions are powerful things, one of the most powerful things that we can let rule us if we’re not careful. Maybe the most critical time that we need to be the most mindful of them is actually when we are running on them the most, during loss or a break up.
It’s not to say that the person doing the leaving has an easy time of it, they’ll no doubt be dealing with a whole different set of emotions as they work themselves into their new future but those left standing back there, as the dust flies up around them as the wheels spin as they race away into the distance. That’s when maybe emotions can become entangled and hard to control and separate as we try to work out what has actually happened. There will more than likely be no real grey area to why you have ended up where you are, most every instance is brought about by decisions and actions that leads up to where you are standing right now. To move forwards a clean up process needs to be undertaken, a time to look at what you now do and don not need in your life. All the things holding you back or hindering your progression must be analysed.
We cannot move forward if we are trailing cables.
Life is about lessons, it is about growth and development. It is about looking forwards in everything you do. Look at any example, a darts player only looks at the dartboard, focusing intently on his target, on his challenge, not their opponent, not the crowd. There is not a single example of someone that is working towards their goals or doing their dream job that is looking backwards. A pitcher, a batter, a boxer, anything. Do you think a rally driver looks in their rear view mirror? Even a mailman looks up the street that they are on. Looking forwards, onwards. To move forwards, to create momentum and turn that into progession our sights must be set on the task at hand but first and foremost we must know where we want to be, what direction we want to be heading in that is going to take us (and when I say us I mean ourselves) to the promiseland, the finish line of our goals. Really none of this remotely stands a chance of happening if you are not applied to the challenge. If you are distracted.
If you have your mind and or emotions on other things it means you will never be able to give 100% into anything, let alone working on you and your dreams. You can make a start of course you can but it will only carry you so far until you address everything that has gone before. Think about it, how far will a cruise ship travel into the ocean if it is still tethered to the shore? Or if it has moved from port but continues to drag it’s anchor along sea bed. You can move forwards but it’s hindered, laboured. You are still allowing your direction to be dictated by something that no longer applies to you and your world.
What is the point of holding on to those emotions and feelings? If they are counter productive to who you are now and where you want to be then cut them loose. Yes, easier said than done I know, some things we can easily release into space but emotions and feelings although not felt anymore can take time be be forgotten, but don’t punish yourself if you find yourself in this place of mixed feeling. Humans are complex and no matter who you are a certain passage of time must pass before it falls from your mind. This doesn’t make you confused or unfocused, it just makes you human. Remind yourself why you are at where you are at now and where you want to be taking this life, your life.
Let the trailing emotions bob about in the sea as they begin to slip away into the history books. Keep your mind and thoughts in the here and now and not the here and then. Why do you think a car windscreen is so big and the rear view mirror is so small in comparison? It’s because that is where your attentions should be placing, looking forwards and that little mirror only serves to occasionally remind you to where you have been and what you have learned.
By definition trailing cables are an issue to be addressed, they are a potential trip hazard in a working environment. Something to be aware of their presence and the danger that they bring. So if you’re working away and you have those loose cables laying around you then the chances of you getting caught up and losing your balance in them is quite high, even if you are aware that they are there. That is what emotions do, old feelings can easily draw us in if we allow ourselves to start entertaining them as something we need to remain with us. Put them away, tidy them up, label them accordingly like the cables and create a ‘safe’ place for you to work in.
It’s freedom we should seek, freedom from the baggage life bestows upon us along the way. We will always have that baggage because that is part of our life so therefore part of us, but it’s more on how you choose to carry that baggage. We can make those bags as light or as heavy as we choose to. Regardless of what we have been through there will be elements that we can process and let go, leaving just the facts, the events. Or we can over analyse, harbour and tie ourselves into tight little stress balls refusing not to let anything go and in turn weighing ourselves down so unnecessarily. That grinds us to a halt or at best makes what we want (progession) so difficult to sustain. It’s like walking in wet cement, each and every step is a task, so much more taxing than it needs to be.
For me, even though everything is long done and severed I know it will take a certain undisclosed period of time for all of my trailing cables to fully be removed from my life. Just now I am in a place where they don’t effect me, they don’t play on my mind or distract me from what I am trying to accomplish. There is no more springing up like a meerkat at every car that goes past my window. I am at peace with all that has gone before and now focused intently on what is to come, on what I am going to create.
Although this was a subject that did cause me a little concern, I questioned why these emotions were appearing to be lingering around even though my mind and soul had moved well past it all. I confided in my mentor and as he wisely stated that although you are no longer attached physically, mentally or emotionally there will always be a delay in the separation between rational thought and the emotional bond. This doesn’t mean a bond still exists, it just means some things quite simply take a little longer.
So don’t dwell, don’t panic that these feelings or emotions will be around forever, they won’t. You are already set to take on the next chapter of your life. Just don’t pay those trailing cables the attention you think they need.
Go about your business and sooner or later, they will go about theirs.