We are one.


Things just seem to happen don’t they? Good and bad, things just ‘happen’. Now obviously we can generate events in both the positive and negative variety by our actions, decisions and the general energy we project out into the universe but I am talking about the other anomalies, the parts of life we aren’t expecting, the bits and pieces that just kind of, fall into our laps. I’ve been thinking about this recently, quite a lot actually and I’m not overly sure what sparked it off. I was just really sitting back and looking at the people I have in my life. The long time servers, the family members, friends old and new. People from all different walks of life that I am incredibly lucky enough to have close to me. People so incredibly important to me I fill with an overwhelming privilege. Its not what I would describe as a person to person thing, all of these people could meet in one place and share common ground. For me, we are one.

So jus the other night I took my daughter to her school parent and options evening to have a chat with her teachers and discuss the options before her as she prepares to head into this new academic chapter. We were accompanied by her best friend who’s parents couldn’t make it so I played the role of guardian so she could talk to who she needed to during the evening. I think it may have been then that this subject really made itself apparent. As we all worked our way around the hallow chatted options and ideas until we hit the photography stall, a subject that my daughter has incredible natural talent for, a lot more so than her old man. We have all the kit indoor and regularly head out to capture the world, but her friend doesn’t have any kit or camera but really wanted to choose this course. Instantly I thought “I’d get her a camera, it means a lot to her and she should be able to do it”. Naturally I’m sure her folks will think and do the same but it was just this feeling of creating an opportunity for someone. Seeking no thanks or reward, just kindness to those you know so they can start on a path. I hope to see the world taking this outlook more someday. Not the stance of I want so I should get because nothing worth having comes without a tonne of work before, during and after. But kindness, what does that cost aside from a fragment of your time?

I would quite literally do anything for those around me. I’m no martyr or saint but I believe kindness, acts of kindness and generosity  just make the world a better place to exist in and if I can make a difference to how those people around me are feeling then I will. You should too. You do get rewarded, it makes you feel good doing something for someone that you know will make them happy. It’s a free but priceless gift. Inner circle or outer, beyond the outer people are still people. Of course you’re not going to have common ground with all of your billions of neighbours but the outlook of kindness carries far. The appreciation to act kindly to others travels well beyond the spoken.

The people in your life should all know you as you. There should be no comments of ‘oh you seem different when you’re with them’ kind of conversations. you as a person should be a constant with no need to  project a false persona and likewise with with people in your life. Each and every one of them should be able to interact and intermingle with everyone else as you should all be sharing the same common energy. Be mindful of those that are kept a distance for no real apparent reason. They are the secret holders with an energy that displaces that of others. For example, I could have the entirity of my inner circle in a room and if I stepped out I know each one could and would share a common ground, a relatable journey. Thats why I love them all. No secrets, no dramas, the closet doors blown right off and skeletons all illuminated with floodlights. I like that my flaws and mistakes are exposed. going through life with secrets keeps you eternally petrified that they could be exposed at any time and in turn change everyones opinion about you. That is no way to live.

Not that you should pay any mind to peoples opinions. Just be you. Being you is good enough for me. There’s no need to have an angle, there’s no need to search for a reason or a ‘thing’ in order for people to like you. It is just that plain simple. People, the people for you will just want to see you happy and likewise that is all you should ever want for them.

Going through all of this over the last couple of years has not only taught me about myself, about how I need to work on, grow and develop myself but also on how much I can do for people. I use the word I but it is a ‘we’.

We can all make such a difference to the people and world around us and it is such an easy thing to do. Just ask someone how they are, never underestimate how powerful that question can be. Sometimes people just need to hear that, they might be the no fuss or thrills type of person but inside they are torn, struggling or just could be a little overwhelmed. I feel I dropped the ball with this just yesterday. I missed a f friends diagnosis of bowel cancer. She is the tiniest, kindest, friendliest and happiest ball of life and now has this hard road in front of her. Now she knows she has my 24/7 support and this has made me take stock of things, just as life changing news seems to do. I work so hard and tirelessly that I completely missed this news so now I’ll ensure that work is done as always but people, my people and more are in the forefront of my mind.

It is a tough balance though, you have to put yourself first but also keep all of those close to you in our thoughts. A much as I want to I can’t look after and protect everyone. I can’t take away my daughters shyness, I can’t take away Nat’s cancer, I can’t stop Jim accelerating his high blood pressure. If I could I would. I’d take every bit of them on, but you cant. All you can do is offer support and love but don’t do it just when bad news comes along. Offer support and love even when the good times are in full flow. That is how those unbreakable bonds are formed and that is how people know you care. Go beyond a Facebook status comment, tat is just a hollow attempt to show others that you are nice. Life isn’t a status, it’s not a location tag or a photo of your new nails conveniently over your Mercedes steering wheel. It is a compulsion, an involuntary act to make sure the people you love ants care about feel your energy and you feel theirs.

Be a tribe. A collection of completely different individuals all sharing the same love. Remove any clashes in that energy. Take everyone in your life, in your close and trusted inner circle; you all stand individually, all on your own pathways and journeys but will forever remain linked and intertwined.

All of us are bonded, we are one.

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