This week I got a parenting 101. For whatever reason I am very quiet by nature, certainly on the outside but internally I have a very relentless monologue. My mind never stops chattering away, ideas, revisions, thoughts, plans, daydreaming. It’s all there in a constant whirlpool.
It is however very easy for me to assume that everyone else is privy to this information tsunami and therefore my actual vocal communication abilities in the real world can be at fault, quite often.
None more so than this week with everything going on, Christmas, funerals, care homes, work, deadlines, projects. I failed miserably at the single most important thing. I forgot to communicate properly with my daughter and it has broken my heart to think she was there needing me, unsure to what was happening, what arrangements were in place and for that I have let her down.
That is not a nice admittance.
I took it on the chin and apologised with the promise to rectify my failings and be that much of an open vocaliser. This year has been tough, really tough mentally. From my former boss and my ex partner shafting me with finances to the barrage of family and loved one issues it has been a grind to say the least. Now I’m not one to mope and not one to feel sorry for myself or have anyone feel sorry for me I just try to soldier on as best as I can with the tools I have at my disposal.
So now I have to realign my sights and remember what is the most important thing out there, and that is family and the family I have brought into the world. A few plans haven’t come off this year and I hate being a person of false promises so next year I am going to drag everything I have set out to do into realisation, kicking and screaming if necessary.
So life check complete, settings adjusted and ground to be made up established and besides a little self improvement won’t go a miss will it..