I posted earlier in the week on my Facebook to how some recent events have really affected me and that is still very much the case today.
Seeing something you always knew but never had resounding undeniable evidence of was, at that moment both glorious and heart breaking. It’s all very well knowing in the back of your mind that you were made an absolute fool of but when it’s presented to you in images? Well, it doesn’t make you feel that good about yourself. I know that even to this day there would be denial, lies and kitchen cleaning. It’s just been a thought and feeling I haven’t been able to shake since I saw it.
I have been someone that has turned round and faced my demons and issues and all of the things that prevented me from having that happy and regular day to day existence. As anyone working through things will tell you, it’s a battle that is never won. Think of it as an engine. Without oil, fuel, water it will seize. It’s efficiency will be hindered. All of this has knocked me back, massively so. To levels of emotion I thought were long dead. But maybe it’s because these are emotions and feelings that I knew were real but never actually had to deal with them as real until now. If I could describe it, it has made me feel quiet ghostly, quite vacant in day to day life. Now don’t get me wrong everything is getting done but I feel a bit like a bystander to it all. It will pass, I will come to terms with it, process it and move on but until then I understand that this is a necessary pathway that needs to be walked in order to grow past it.
So, weddings and babies aside. My happiness remains mine to create and mine to protect.
It’s never been lost on my how important good friends are and I consider myself very lucky to have the friends that I do.
We all have ‘friends’ but there is always those that are more than that, people with a deeper connection and stronger purpose. This is usually and should be a small circle, a core of friends that know you, understand you and taking all that into consideration still tolerate having you around!
Speaking for myself and with my friends, I love them. We all bring something different to the table but are all on exactly the same page. It doesn’t matter how many times we reminisce about a thing, it doesn’t matter what the passage of time has been since we saw each other it just picks up instantly from where we left off. From prepubescent boys, through our teenage years, sailing through our twenties and thirties and currently coasting through our forties nothing gets old, no one falls out or argues. All we want is to have a laugh and know that everyone else is happy in their lives. That’s maybe why is seems to be a winning formula. There’s no drama, no spite or jealousy just a few guys enjoying their lives together.
Heck it’s even why I started MANPEDIA, so hopefully we can build a professional life together too, seeing the world and experiencing as much as we can.
It’s these times, the nights out, the trips away, the gigs, the meals, when we catch up and spend the night belly laughing it really makes me thankful for those around me. It’s testament to the pros of keeping your circle small.
So as the week goes, it’s been nice to be reminded of the kind and genuine people around me. It’s been a week of family visits, photography trips and just quite simply good times.
It’s been a welcome reminder that while the world we love in seems to spiral further out of control that the simple things can make it all wash away in a heartbeat.