Who believes in fate? It’s not as easy a question to answer when you think about is it. Is it a case that everything is predetermined? Every decision and mistake you make you was going to do anyways what’s the point of thinking about what you’re doing? That takes a lot of the spontaneity out of life doesn’t it. All those ad-hoc trips to the beach or crazy impulsive moments were always going to happen anyway. Or… are you in charge of your life? Are you behind the wheel making the decisions that steer everything along the path we choose? AS positive life thinkers we should all be dialled into the latter. To understand that life is choices and decisions, knowing that some of those will be poor or risky leading to some harsh lessons or tricky situations but to know that each mistake, each ‘incorrect’ will leave you with an instruction, a lesson to absorb. We desire these lessons to promote growth, to continue our personal development . For me the thought of all my decisions being pre-decided leaves me a little numb. I like that things need to be considered, that we are forever plotting a course into unchartered waters. That maybe not every step will be a success, not every turn will initially be positive but ultimately it will all form into something we will learn and progress forward from,
Think back to some of the things that have happened to you. Something you thought was lucky or was a nice surprise. Was that just a predetermined event or did your earlier decisions and choices navigate towards the outcome? I’d like to think that all those good things were the result of my own instruction. The stringing together of multipole decisions and efforts. As with anything the work put in produces the relative results. Apply that to any subject matter and it rings true. Your diet, if you’re wanting to lose weight but aren’t consistent and you keep falling off the wagon the it will not give you the desired result. If its work, if you’re not applied in what you’re doing then everything produced will be a little sub par. Relationships, parenthood, sports, training, even something as simple as you’re happiness. Put the work in. Do what is required and more, go beyond a level of minimum effort. Raise your own bar in whatever you’re doing because fate isn’t playing a part in it. you are your fate, you are moulding what your life’s and will be.
Why settle for someone else’s rules or plan? I very much doubt that anyone else’s plan for your life is 100% how you would design if you had to map it out form the start. Each and everyone of us have a different idea of our ultimate happiness, our ideal life. Not a fate where we merely remain as passengers along the route. If you feel that you are then leap off of the tour bus and start your own adventure. Start narrating your own story, you control the plot. There is that saying that you are the star of your own movie, but if you read the small print it actually says that not only do you have the lead role but your are also the producer and director too. What does that mean? It means you get free reign to how it is told. Now don’t get me wrong, life will make a few cameo appearances and pop in a few rewrites here and there but a bit of ad-hoc acting is good for you too. Actually, thinking about it in those terms a bit of life improv is only going to make you a better actor. Meaning better equipped at dealing with hat life mat throw at you along the way. Not an actor in terms of falseness and fakery. We don’t want that, no one wants that.
Now what of the fixed path, what’s the argument there? Well in truth both paths are interlinked. Theres a lot of scope to say you cant truly be fully one of those. If you don’t believe everything is mapped out and that you are in control of each and every decision then it could be said that you was going to make that decision anyway? You can tie yourself up in knots thinking about too much. Which we don’t do, we don’t overthink, we don’t over analyse. We know that’s a pointless path of wasted energy that will ultimately bring about negative results.
But what if something is meant to be? Surely that is fate? No, no no no no. Something (in my opinion of course) is not meant to be, it will be born from a series of decisions, a series of linked choices that have made that particular thing feel right. If you’ve worked or wanted something then the chances are you have been making all those decisions already taking you towards it.
Its very much my outlook though that all decisions form steps towards the bigger picture. That for me is my version of something that is meant to be as it is something I am actually creating. The thing that gets me out of bed at 5am and is never far from my thoughts. In my eyes it is meant to be because I am making it so.
Not bringing the concept of fate into your world is a little tricky at first. It feels easier to accept that things would have happened anyway, no matter what the influence. To me that is the view of sitting down and waiting for life to come to you. Stand up, get out of that chair, have a stretch and go and get that version of life you seek. Place both hands firmly on the steering wheel of your life and go for a drive. Drive down roads you’ve never been down before, yes you might clip a few curbs but you will be travelling to new places, seeing new things, experiencing new journeys, meeting new people. All of which are moulding the life you want because you are proactively doing it, not fate. Free will.
Accepting an existence based on fate will keep you in a small safe world, you will remain unchallenged. Potentially left with an emptiness and lack of fulfilment. You simply will not grow. Don’t let the falseness of a fate based existence restrain you from what you can truly achieve. Yes take those knocks, fall flat on your face on life trip wires but never stop getting up. Don’t accept that fate only wanted you to get this far. If you feel it’s taken you as far as its going to then it’s time you seized control and sent fate packing. Kick it into the long grass and watch your life explode into a world of possibilities.
What will blow your mind now though is the thought of in disregarding fate, moving away from the notion of a predetermined existence and taking control of your life, of all the decisions and the path you choose to be on. if you do all that, was that just fate anyway?
No, you have created it all. So be damn proud of it.